


When We Were Younger, I Fell In Love With You, Now That We're Older, You've Realised It Too

by PrincessLou



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: A lot of Louis crying..., Childhood, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-09
Updated: 2014-02-09
Packaged: 2018-01-11 16:21:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1175192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrincessLou/pseuds/PrincessLou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry Styles is shy, introverted and never let’s anyone in who he doesn’t trust. Louis Tomlinson is energetic, fun and loud. They are best friends and they couldn’t have found a better best friend, even if they wanted to. They have each other and that is more than enough. Anne hopes Louis can help Harry by giving him a bit of a confidence boost around other people. But Anne soon falls in love and they move away. Harry applies for the x Factor. Harry makes it big, but that doesn’t mean Louis will stop being Harry’s number one fan and he’ll try not to act like a stalker. But in all honesty, Louis thinks he fell in love with that boy ever since they first met. But Louis’ also a big believer in fate, and therefore believes the universe wants them to be together. What he doesn’t believe is that Harry doesn’t remember him at all. Has he really changed that much?</p>
            </blockquote>





	When We Were Younger, I Fell In Love With You, Now That We're Older, You've Realised It Too

**Author's Note:**

> I apologise now for any mistakes found here and just let me know if there are any and I'll fix them as soon as possible.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!
> 
> P.S. Sorry about the summary folks, I was extremely tired when I wrote it :/
> 
>  
> 
> Disclaimer: 
> 
> I am in no way, shape or form involved or affiliated with One Direction, other than being a fan of them and their music. This work is pure fiction from the depths of my mind and has been made purely for entertainment and enjoyment purposes. I do not own One Direction or anyone associated with One Direction and I certainly don't own any of their names. The only right I own is the idea of this piece of fiction.

When he was young, aged 6, Louis had a friend. A best friend, Harry Styles. Harry was younger than Louis at the age of 4 but that never fazed Louis. Louis never stopped showing him off, introducing him to anyone they met and talking about him with so much pride to anyone who would listen.

Jay, Louis’s mum, was quite worried about their friendship, about Harry. He hardly ever spoke, just followed Louis around looking timid and scared. She thought there was something odd about him from the get go and had begged Louis to stop bothering with him, to which she got the reply “But mum, he’s my _best_ friend!”. She was soon put at ease when she became good friends with Harry’s mum, Anne. She explained Harry had always been shy around people he didn’t trust straight away and she thought Louis might be a good influence on Harry, “You know, bring him out of his shell a bit”, and how could Jay say no after that?

Louis and Harry’s friendship was an extremely close one, leading everyone to assume they were in fact brothers and _not_ best friends _._ This didn’t stop at school though. With Harry being in the year below Louis, that didn’t stop Louis from bothering with him or feeling the need to protect Harry at every opportunity he got. Even one day when Harry had forgotten his lunch Louis didn’t even hesitate in giving him his lunch because “You need it more than me Harry, you’re a growing boy.” And to that Harry just split what Louis gave him and gave half back with a smile as some sort of retort. Louis just shook his head still smiling but gratefully took what Harry handed over because he understood. He understood what Harry wanted to say to him, he always understood and he could read Harry like an open book, even if he was selective mute around Louis. Anne had explained what it meant to Louis, that Louis had to gain Harry’s trust first before Harry would start talking to him like he talks with Anne and Gemma (Harry’s older sister) in the privacy of their own home.

Harry started coming out of his shell more and more. But Louis kept repeating to him that it was alright to take little baby steps. After Harry always needing Anne to take him over to Louis’ house, one day he just turned up on Louis’s doorstep _without_ her. Louis had opened the door and just threw himself at Harry capturing him in a loving embrace. Louis was _so_ _proud_ of Harry, he just couldn’t help himself from telling anyone who would listen about the event. Just like a mother would brag after her baby has just said its first word. And when Harry had said his first word, or sentence, to Louis, Louis was ecstatic. Louis knew that that was the best moment in his short life so far (But he does feel guilty that it overtook the moment of when his mum brought home his _first_ baby sister, because that moment was great too) and just like Harry, it was perfect.

He and Harry had been in Louis’ bedroom playing with some of Louis’s new toys that he had gotten for Christmas, but hadn’t opened yet. Harry soon got bored leaving Louis playing on his own for a bit while he nosed around his DVD collection. “Don’t you want to play with these anymore Haz?” Louis questioned but Harry just turned around holding up Louis’ copy of The Grinch with a grin spread across his face. Louis rolled his eyes, “It’s Spring Harry and this is a Christmas movie silly!” Harry just shrugged so Louis told Harry to settle down on the bed while he tided away and put the DVD on. He sat against the pillows and wrapped a protective arm around Harry’s shoulders. Harry rested his head upon Louis’ shoulder and just before the movie started he said, “You have comfortable shoulders Lou,” and sighed. Louis had never been so excited and shocked but his front remained calm as he replied, “Why thank you, Haz Bear.” But no one needed to know that after Harry had left that night Louis couldn’t remove the permanently fixed smile from his face.

Their parents thought it was a beautiful friendship blossoming between them. How Louis would know what Harry wanted to say without him even having to open his mouth to convey his thoughts. Louis may have been young, and maybe even a bit naïve but he thought to himself, that if this was how his life was going to be forever, he didn’t really mind. And if you asked Louis what perfection was like, he would’ve answered saying “Something like this.”

***

But his version of perfection really didn’t last that long because when Louis was just 9 and Harry was only 7, Anne had fallen in love and decided to move in with her fiancé, who lived in Holmes Chapel, in _Cheshire_ and Harry was so upset about the news. Little did he know that Louis was devastated. Harry had closed in on himself again, frightened of a new home and a new town. Louis was the only one he would talk to now. “But what if the people are mean there Lou?” and “What if I don’t make friends there!” and even going to the extent of “Lou please come with us! I won’t be able to make friends without you.” But Louis was there with whispered promises of “It’s not that far Haz, mum can drive me down on weekends to see you, I’ll still be in your life just not as much.” And “I’ll always be in your life Harry whether you want me or not,” to which Harry had replied, “Never Lou, I never want you to leave my life.” This had gotten Anne a little worried that she’d pushed their friendship too far, to the extent that Harry had now become dependent on Louis.

 *** 

That was short lived though, all the promises and dependency. Fair enough, Harry had moped around for a few weeks and didn’t even bother to make friends at his new school. He would claim they were all mean to him. Anne misinterpreted what Harry said and thought he was being bullied. Soon after a meeting with the head teacher, she was put at ease and had scolded Harry for lying. Straight away he was grounded and sent up to his room where he spent the early hours of the evening crying and sobbing out Louis’s name into his pillow because he knew what he needed, he needed his best friend right now and he wasn’t within reach for Harry making him sob even harder.

3 years later and Louis was still on Harry’s mind. Not as much but he couldn’t help being in a situation and relating it to Louis in some way. He’d also come out of his shell way more than Anne had ever expected. He’d made friends at his new school and was getting on well with the workload. Anne thought Harry had long forgotten about Louis from Doncaster but that was her fatal mistake. Harry brought home his friend Zayn nearly every day and sometimes he even stayed for dinner with Harry and his family. Harry had been invited over Zayn’s once or twice too but Zayn always preferred Harry’s house because it was ‘Less chaotic’ than his and had a much ‘nicer atmosphere’ but Harry didn’t know what he was talking about so he just smiled and nodded.

After Zayn left one cold, bitter, wintery evening with Anne’s husband Robin refusing to let him walk home with just a leather jacket he had been offered a drive home and well, it would’ve been impolite to refuse Zayn thought. Anne asked Harry to help him with the washing up and tried to gather up some sort of conversation with her 10 year old son. “So Zayn seems to be around here an awful lot...”

“And?” He questioned her with a furrowed brow.

“I’m just saying, you two seem pretty close, that’s all. I’m glad you’re making new friends though.”

“Yeah, well, I wouldn’t have to if you didn’t steal me away from Louis!” And with that, Harry stormed upstairs slamming his bedroom door behind him.

*** 

5 years later, which seemed like a long time for Louis and he was nowhere near forgetting Harry at all. He’d kept a journal and whenever he felt like talking to Harry he would just write everything in there. It worked for a little while until one day he was writing in it and his friend Stan had called him out on it saying, “Diaries are for girls, mate. Not for 14 year olds like us.” Louis didn’t stop though, just stopped in front of other people. Yeah, he was 14 now, a big boy, in comprehensive school and it was definitely time for change. He changed his dress sense and he was allowed a mobile phone now too, which was pretty cool and he had made loads of new friends but never replaced Harry as his best friend, never. Even Liam, who he considered his closest friend couldn’t replace Harry and Louis told Liam everything. Now, because Louis had a phone he’d begged his mum to ring Anne for some sort of contact information so he could talk to Harry but his mum told him she wasn’t replying to her texts and when she rang it went to voicemail every time, and every time he heard those words, his heart sunk that little bit deeper inside him.

***

Louis decided to stay at school and attend sixth form instead of college unlike Stan. He still thought of Harry at least once a day and he still wrote in his journal every day without fail. To Louis it felt like he was keeping his promise of never leaving Harry’s life even if they weren’t close anymore. Louis continued to make new friends who seemed to add themselves to their little clique. Louis wouldn’t say he was popular himself but Liam kept telling him he’d never believe how popular they were now. But Louis only saw himself as having two _real_ and _proper_ friends he could trust 100%, Liam and his girlfriend Eleanor. And of course Harry, but Harry was _still_ his _best_ friend. Louis was studying Drama, coincidentally where he’d met Eleanor and how, once they’d been dating for several months had been dubbed the power couple of the school and took part time singing lessons and piano lessons. Louis loved music and he couldn’t just let it slip away from him like he’d let Harry slip away.

***

Louis’ second year of sixth form was extremely busy and he’d simply no time left for Eleanor anymore, resulting in their break up. Louis found out there was a music related course he could take and snapped up the opportunity straight away. On his course he met an Irish lad called Niall and found out he’d moved around _a lot_. He’d obviously been born in Ireland but then his mum moved them to London for better work opportunities. After being made redundant and absolutely hating the chaotic buzz of London’s City Centre she moved Niall and his brother to Cheshire. Louis’s ears perked up and started shooting quick questions towards Niall, “Do you know a kid called Harry? Harry Styles?”, “You do! Do you have his number? E-mail? House phone number?” Unfortunately Niall had answered no to every question which left Louis deflated once again. Niall had no idea what was going on, the poor lad.

That night Louis went up to his room without dinner. He sat on his bed pulled his knees up to his chest and sobbed until the late hours of the evening. Before going to bed, Jay came into his room, rushed over to him and gathered him up into her lap. Luckily Louis hadn’t grown that much so she could easily scoop him up. Through hiccupped sobs and wet sniffles Louis tried to speak. “He’s gone mum. He was stolen from me and I just want him back, it’s not fair!” She rubbed his back soothingly and left kisses on top of his feathery light brunette hair.

“He was never yours to steal, love” Louis lifted his head and frowned at her.

“Mum, you’re not helping.”

“I’m sorry darling, you just need something to take your mind off him. What about Eleanor? We hardly see her anymore, why don’t you invite her ‘round tomorrow for dinner?” Louis scrunched his nose up in disgust and let out a heavy sigh.

“We broke up, mum. Besides I didn’t like her that much anyway.” She leaned back surprise etching her face and raising an eyebrow. Louis just shrugged, let out another heavy sigh and dropped his gaze to the floor. “I don’t think I can take my mind off him, mum. I think,” Louis shuffled around on her lap a little uncomfortably, “I think.. I might.. be, be in love? Yeah I think I’m in love with him mum.” Saying it out loud and admitting it to himself was one thing, but telling his mother was something else. Not only had he possibly come out to his mum, he’d confessed his love for his best friend, someone who he hadn’t seen nor spoken to in over 10 years.

“Oh Louis, you’re 17, are you sure, love? You’re so _young,_ you’ve got your whole life ahead of you darling.”

“Exactly! It’s been what? 11 years or something, I’m 17 and he’s 15 or 16, whatever and I _can’t_ _stop_ thinking about him. He’s _always_ on my mind and whenever something crazy happens I always think, ‘I can’t wait to tell Harry about this!’ It’s driving me crazy and I don’t know what to do anymore.” His mum hugged him tighter and placed a lingering kiss to his temple.

“If it’s affecting you this much I’ll try anything I can to get in contact with Anne, okay? But you have to promise me Louis that you’ll help too. Promise me you’ll find something that’s a distraction because if you let this get to you.. God knows what’ll happen, but I don’t want to see you broken Louis, you’re my eldest and only son, and here’s me thinking you’d be running around breaking all the girls’ hearts!” Louis chuckled and wrapped his arms around her neck hugging her tightly whispering ‘thanks mum, you’re the best’ into her neck.

“C’mon now, I’ll warm your dinner up, but only if you remember what we promised!”

So Louis did. He kept his promise. Niall had been sitting in on his singing lessons and told him he should apply for The X Factor. Louis scoffed and said he couldn’t possibly apply, ‘I’m nowhere near that good, Nialler.’ But one day all alone in his bedroom, or so he thought, he’d been tidying up and belting his heart out to The Script with so much emotion he was surprised his heart didn’t pour out of him and all over the floor. Soon the song had finished and Liam stepped out from the doorway pure surprise gracing his face and simply said ‘Wow’. Louis just stood there blushing like a maniac and telling Liam he wasn’t meant to hear that.

A week later he found out Liam and Niall had gone behind his back and filled out the application form for him. He wasn’t mad. He was disappointed that they had betrayed his trust like that and instantly thought ‘Harry would never have betrayed me like that.’ Then Niall had enough. He and Liam sat Louis down and explained everything to him. “We saw some talent and we couldn’t let that go Louis, what if you actually make something of yourself and we never filled it out for you? We would never have forgiven ourselves!” Louis knew Liam would’ve felt terribly guilty but he doubted he’d make anything of himself.

“Just go to the first audition Louis, please. If they send you through you don’t have to go but we know you and we know you’d love it up there on that stage, spotlight and all.” Louis had rolled his eyes at Niall and finally gave in, but only if they auditioned as solo artists too. Both agreeing, they helped each other pick out their audition songs.

Louis told Jay and she instantly said she’d drive them all to London for the auditions. She could see how ecstatic it made Louis feel and the last time she’d seen him this happy Harry was still around, so she knew she had to do it, no question about it. Arriving in London and queuing up Liam had to tell Louis he couldn’t audition and apologised profusely. Louis made Liam promise he’d give him all the support he could muster up otherwise he’d go back to Doncaster telling everyone how Liam Payne chickened out of a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Niall slapped Louis hard on the back, grinned at him and said “Don’t worry, mate. I’ll still audition _and_ give you me full support!”

Louis’s audition went terrible, he knew it. And Niall’s, well, Niall couldn’t care less he was just glad the guest judge was Katy Perry and she thought he was cute which he wouldn’t let _anyone_ forget. The auditions were in the week so they agreed to watch The X Factor on Saturday at Louis’s house and Jay had bragged to anyone she knew that _her son_ was going to be on the T.V, she couldn’t believe it.

***

Saturday came around like a lightning bolt and Louis made Niall and Liam promise not to tell anyone at school, but of course Niall couldn’t keep his gob shut. But Louis realised on Monday they’d all know anyway so what did it matter. He sat down on the sofa between his mum and Liam. Louis cringed all the way through his audition as everyone in the room clapped. He hid his face in a cushion and let out a muffled scream.

“It’s over,” Liam announced slapping Louis’s back as a way of congratulating him.

“Thank god!” Louis removed the pillow from his face and was met with Liam grinning at him like a mad man. He threw the pillow at him, “Don’t be a twat Li.”

“Rude! Oh my god! It’s Niall’s turn it up!” Jay prised the remote from the sofa cushion and turned up the volume.

“Niall that’s terrible! How did you even get through and I didn’t?” Louis looked at him in utter disbelief. Niall just shrugged and replied,

“They thought I was cute.”

“Well we might as well turn over now, we’ve seen both of your auditions and sorry about your nerves Louis, didn’t think they’d affect you that much.”

“Thank you so much for all your support Li! Such a subtle way of telling me I was basically shit.” Louis slapped Liam’s knee hard several times, “Thanks babe.”

“Louis! Language! Not in front of the girls please!”

“Sorry mum. But don’t turn over, I love X Factor, let’s see who I need to beat for next year.” He winked at his mum and settled back against the sofa getting comfortable. After they came back from the last ad break Louis couldn’t believe his eyes. He had to sit forward on the sofa and even ask Jay to pass him his glasses. It couldn’t be him, but Louis knew he recognised that face. Him and Harry were at the same auditions but Louis never saw him. The programme confirmed it was him, Harry Styles, Louis’s best friend, or more commonly known now as Harry Styles, the boy Louis has been pining over for 10 years and he’s on Louis Tomlinson’s living room T.V screen.

Louis continued to watch The X Factor series and never missed an episode. He even went as far as recording _and_ watching every episode, watching Harry grown throughout the competition. He was amazing and Louis had no idea how Harry had the voice of an angel. Yeah he was a good singer when he used to sing along with Louis to the music channels, but Louis even had singing lessons and Harry was _still_ better than him. Liam and Niall thought his ‘obsession’ was going too far when he started rejecting going out on Saturday nights with them, he even rejected a trip into London to go clubbing with some friend of Niall’s who could drive them there. Louis knew it wasn’t an obsession, it was important to him and Jay knew this too.

“Mum, we _have_ to get tickets to go see the final! He’s in the final mum! I’m so proud of him you have no idea.”

“I know how much it means to you Louis, I do, but we don’t have that sort of money! I have to buy Christmas presents for the girls still.” Louis groaned. It was always about money lately and he helped out looking after the girls as much as he could, as long as it didn’t get in the way of his ‘me time’ (Basically him sitting in the living room watching The X Factor and pining over Harry).

“Can you get them for my Christmas present then? Please mum! I’ll do anything, especially if they’re VIP tickets, oh my god I could actually talk to him.”

“Calm down Louis, I’ll see what I can do but no promises okay?”

“If that’s the best you can do, then that’s good enough for me.” He hugged her tight and left a wet sloppy kiss against her cheek. “Thanks mum!”

***

Christmas Day was the same as every previous year, the girls trying to get their mother up early and Jay sending them into Louis’s room to pounce on him instead. Getting jumped on and kneed in the balls by one of the twins wasn’t the most glamorous way to wake up on Christmas Day, but Louis wouldn’t change it for the world (Unless Harry was here of course). The girls dragged a groggy Louis downstairs and into the living room, where he told them they needed to wait until their mum’s awake to open their presents all together. He bribed them with Nutella and toast for breakfast but the twins simply refused to eat it because it’s burnt. He substituted it for cereal because he can’t mess that up, right?

Jay made her way downstairs after a morning shower and the girls scrambled back into the living room fighting over who gets to open their present first. Louis stood in the doorway observing them fondly just because. He loves this time of the year, not because it’s his birthday _and_ it’s Christmas (Because either way he still doesn’t get double the amount of presents because “We don’t have the money Louis!” or “It wouldn’t be fair on the twins because they’re too young to understand, you’re their role model Louis, you should set a good example”) but he just _adores_ the girls’ faces when they open their presents, especially his, because of course his presents are the best, and he’s sure they love this time of the year just as much as him. “I think Louis should open his present first. Girls, what do you think?” A chorus of ‘Yeah!’s erupt from them and Jay just smiled at Louis fondly and knowingly. He raised an eyebrow at her as the girls were squabbling over who gets to give Louis his present. When they settled it, they all walk over to Louis with a tiny present in their hands all making sure they’ve all got a hold of it.

“Merry Christmas, Lou Lou!” They all sang in unison.

“The bestest brother in the world!” The twins add on, giggling like hyenas.

“I know it isn’t much this year but I hope you’ll still like it.” Jay ushered the girls to sit back down and watched Louis carefully with hope in her eyes. He tore open the gold envelope quickly but carefully and pulled out what was enclosed inside. Before him were two, _two_ VIP tickets to The X Factor tour 2010. His eyes lit up; burning bright like the lights of Blackpool tower and his jaw dropped so low he thought he might’ve needed someone’s help to pick it back up off the floor.

“Thank you so much mum! You have no idea how grateful I am,” He jumped into Jay’s arms and nearly pushed them backwards with such force that they narrowly missed colliding with the Christmas tree. Chuckling slightly, Jay hugged him back just as tight and whispered lightly into his ear,

“As long as it’ll make my baby happy...”

***

It had to be special. Louis was going to meet Harry, again. After so many years without contact, he knew it had to be special and meaningful. Something that Harry would remember even if he didn’t remember Louis (He had grown at least several feet since they’d last seen each other after all), but Louis convinced himself that would’ve been the last case scenario because, how could Harry forget him that easily? Harry had been the only permanent thing on his mind since he had moved and Louis hoped he’d been present in Harry’s from time to time at least.

He wondered if he would be able to give him anything at the meet and greet, or if security would be complete arseholes and ban everyone from bringing letters or presents. Then he decided, he decided he didn’t give a fuck because he was going to see Harry again and he couldn’t just say ‘Hi!’ and get something signed, that just wouldn’t be right.

***

So, there Louis was standing in line backstage after the performances had all finished, a little sweaty but extremely excited and scared to meet Harry Styles, _The_ Harry Styles, _His_ Harry Styles, so yeah. There he was looking a tad over dressed, fixing his hair every five seconds and a DVD of ‘The Grinch’ that kept slipping out of his hands due to his sweaty palms.

His mother had told him she’d wait outside and give him some time to see him alone. It seems she knew how overwhelmed Louis would be. He was in love with him after all. But he thought he shouldn’t mention that to Harry because a) If he does remember him it’ll definitely look like he’s coming on too strong and b)If he doesn’t remember him Harry will most probably take it with a pinch of salt and say he loves him too, being fan-zoned for all eternity. Okay, so maybe Louis was being a tad melodramatic, but what was his life if not one big soap opera? He was a Drama Student after all.

The line was moving at quite a fast pace until a girl (Exactly 6 spaces ahead of Louis. _6_ _more people and he’d be talking to Harry!!!_ ) had started crying and hyperventilating so much that she couldn’t breathe. This resulted in Harry making sure she was okay before leaving, giving her his water bottle and even walking her out for good measure (Same old Harry, Louis thought. Everybody else’s needs at the forefront of his mind rather than his own – such a selfless human being – and Louis knew he’d fallen hard with no possible way of returning).

Finally, Louis was next and with a deep breath, he advanced forward.

“Hiii! How are you? What would you like me to sign for you?” Louis was nervous ( _Why the fuck was he nervous?_ ) and he hoped it didn’t show.

“Hello,” Louis timidly replied. “I’m good, thanks for asking. Could you sign this for me please?” Louis pushed a small notebook towards Harry across the table and was immediately mesmerised by the way his hand worked over the page so neat and gentle.

“Would you like me to sign anything else? Or maybe have a picture?” Harry’s smile was so sweet and genuine. Louis knew that if he hadn’t known Harry from his childhood days and hadn’t fallen in love with him, he would definitely be a fan of his. And probably fallen in love with him all over again.

“Um, no thank you,” Harry had to lean forward to hear him as his voice had grown quieter. “I just-um, I would like to give you this, if that’s okay?” Louis placed the DVD down against the tablecloth and slid it across gently. “I know it seems a little weird, but there’s something inside, and it would mean a lot if you read it,” Harry held it up towards the security guard questioning if it was okay. He shrugged, so Harry started to open the case. “In your own time of course!” Louis added before it was too late. “You’ve got loads of things to sign, I don’t want to be a burden so I’ll get going. But hopefully after you’ve read it I won’t be needing that picture.” Louis smiled and waved with a hint of sadness in his eyes that Harry was obviously oblivious to as he walked out of the room to find his mum.

“Sweetie? Louis, is that you? How did it go?” Jay was standing against the wall next to the exit as Louis appeared from the doorway. As soon as he saw her, he ran into her arms holding her tightly and inhaling slow and deep. He didn’t exhale. He sobbed and he cried. And he was reminded of the day he’d realised he’d fallen for someone so beautiful and so caring and he didn’t know what to do. And it was no different this time, being held by his mother and staining her new coat he had bought her for Christmas with his tears. Not tears of joy and not tears of being overwhelmed, sad tears were falling because,

 “He didn’t recognise me mum! I might as well of not bothered coming today. It was all for nothing and I want to do nothing more than crawl up in a black hole and starve to death!” Jay smoothed his hair down and let him sob and scream into her and she didn’t notice the glances they were getting from onlookers, she didn’t care. She cared about her baby boy and comforting him, after all, right now that was the best thing she could do.

***

Louis never gave up hope. He must’ve checked his email every day. Always hoping there would be something, just _something_ from Harry and at this point in time he didn’t care if it was just ‘Hi’, because at least it was _something_. Of course Liam and Niall were there telling him ‘He’s a pop star Louis, he’s going to be busy!’ or ‘I’m sure he’ll reply soon.’ And that was something Louis had held on to, because he had to reply soon right? But, soon wasn’t specific enough for Louis, so that just made him even more depressed. It got to the point where even Liam got pissed at him for his moping around and that was when Louis knew he would start losing his friends if he didn’t snap out of it, that was the last thing he needed.

He must’ve check his email every day for four weeks straight, and by the fifth week he stopped.

But he never gave up hope.

***

Louis never did get a reply, not that he would’ve known because he’d stopped checking all together after two months. Harry never left his mind or his heart and neither did his hope. Louis always was a big believer in fate and that would never change. He did blame it on those stupid romantic comedies that he’d been tortured into watching with his sister’s (Even though he secretly loved them) and romance novels he had studied at school. And the fact he had to conduct some extensive and thorough research on Google (Or maybe he just got bored and typed into the search bar ’10 Most Romantic Movie Scenes of All Time’ but shh, don’t tell his Drama teacher) for his part in that year’s Drama production of Grease – of course he got the main part playing Danny Zuko.

But in all fairness, nothing could’ve possibly prepared him for when Harry Styles turned up on the doorstep of _Louis’_ family home, looking like a drown rat, trying his best to convey how sorry he is, with nothing other than that stupid Christmas classic Louis had given him _two months_ ago.

You could say Louis was speechless, but that was an understatement. Jay had walked into the hallway to see who was at the door, only to see her only son in, what could only be described as, a state of utter shock and he looked permanently paralysed to the very spot he stood. So much so she had to usher Harry in from out of the rain and literally drag Louis’ body behind her and into the living room.

“I’ll leave you boys to it.” Jay kissed Louis on top of his head, ruffled his hair a bit and ushered the twins out of the living room. Louis gave out a disgruntled groan and glared at her back. Harry and Louis sat on the sofa with only a few inches separating them. Louis didn’t know if he wanted them to be closer or back away a little, for fear of rejection or worse, having his heart broken.

“So... I got your letter,” Harry spoke first and Louis could’ve melted right there. His voice was much deeper now and surged through Louis’ veins like silk. Louis had convinced himself that this could be the last time he ever sees Harry in the flesh, so he might as well go all out and get the answers he needed.

“Why didn’t you email me? I gave you my email _and_ my phone number but I didn’t receive anything,” Louis’ brow furrowed.

“Well... I use my email for work, and I didn’t really want my manager to be innocently looking through my contacts and find ‘tommothetease@hotmail.com’ on there, god knows how much shit I’d be in. And I didn’t _want_ to text you or call you, just in case it wasn’t you, or you changed your number. I suppose it was stupid really, but in my head I knew that if it was really you, this needed to be done face to face.” Harry continued. To say the least, Louis was overwhelmed. He had never heard Harry talk this much in the whole time he’d known him. Yeah he watched him in interviews and on The X Factor, but it never seemed real or in the slightest bit believable until Harry was sat literally inches away from Louis, within touching distance. Louis’ mind was spiralling and he couldn’t concentrate but believe me, he tried his best to get his answers.

“Yeah, my mate Niall made that email for me, never bothered changing it,” Louis chuckled and looked down at his twitching hands. God he was nervous.

“Niall... We should really do something special for him you know?”

“Why? Wait... How do you know Niall?”

“Niall Horan, right? Yeah, he was at my school when I moved but then I guess he moved here, to your school. After I read your letter, Niall and I had lost contact but I always kept his email and got in touch with him. He sort of told me your address?” Harry reached behind him to scratch nervously at the back of his neck. Harry gave Louis a nervous smile hoping Louis wouldn’t be mad at him or Niall.

“Well, a bottle of champagne and a box of chocolates are on the way to him then.” Louis giggled nervously and Harry’s breath hitched. He had forgotten that Louis’ laugh was his favourite sound and only just realised for how long he’d actually been deprived of the wonderful sound. He gave out a long sigh trying to calm down.

“But, are you like-okay? Yeah are you okay Louis?” Louis hesitated to answer and closed his eyes sighing deeply.

“I guess? I mean this is quite overwhelming. I don’t think I’ve _ever_ heard you speak this much, it’s a lot to take in and not to mention your voice is so much... _deeper_.”

“Sorry,” Harry chuckled lightly. “Can’t say I’ve really noticed.” An awkward silence was looming until Louis decided to push his nervousness to the back of his mind and spoke up.

“I should probably explain everything, right?” Harry nodded pursing his lips. “Okay, well.” Louis coughed and cleared his throat. “I may take a while to get my bearings because, well this is quite a surprise, ha,” He started brushing his fingers through his hair and then twiddling his thumbs vigorously. Harry reached out sheepishly to hold Louis’ hand and Louis just fell pliant under Harry’s touch. He gave Louis a reassuring smile and a nod of his head signalling for him to continue.

“Take your time and remember to breathe, okay?” Louis gulped visibly and gave a quick nod.

“This might be a lot to take in for you, so I apologise in advance but I just really _need_ to get this all out and tell you. So we were best friends yeah? Well at least I hope we were because that’s what I’ve been telling everyone, but even though you moved I still classed you as my best friend and you were never _ever_ replaced, I physically _couldn’t_ replace you even if I wanted to. I’m not trying to make you feel guilty because I know it wasn’t your fault, but I was devastated when you moved, and you’re the only one I’d ever admit this to,  but I cried multiple times,” Louis scoffed at himself and avoided eye contact with Harry. This was so embarrassing, gosh. “Over the years I’ve missed you like crazy, Haz.” Louis clasped his hand over his mouth a second too late after realising he wasn’t sure if they were on nickname terms again or not.

“It’s okay, I like it when you give me nicknames, it’s cute.” Harry squeezed Louis’ hand that was still in his and his head shot up. To say he was shocked was an understatement. “Oops, sorry, too forward?”

“Not at all, just... Shocking s’all.” He shrugged trying to play it cool, but he knew himself that he could never act cool around Harry. And that was saying something because he could definitely act. “This is sort of embarrassing to admit but, you never left my mind once. Everything that happened I found myself wanting to tell you about it or if I found a funny video online I thought ‘I can’t wait to tell Harry about that!’ but then I was reminded that you weren’t living just down the street anymore. I didn’t know where you were and I had no way of contacting you, but you still wouldn’t _get out_ of my mind and it was _so_ infuriating... I was 17 when I realised what it meant. I fell in love with you, Harry. And I know you’re not in love with me, but I just _need_ to tell you everything that’s been on my mind. I did write a journal type thing but I’ll have to go searching for it because god knows where it’s disappeared to. You don’t have to say anything, you can just walk out if you’d like. I just need to know, for myself, that I told you the truth because really that’s all I can offer you at the moment.”

Harry could see that Louis was tearing up, so he lifted his hand to gently wipe a thumb over each of Louis’ eyes. The action was so caring and soft Louis couldn’t help but let a few tears slip past. Harry’s hand ran down to stroke Louis’ cheek, again in a gentle manner, then cup his hand around his sharp and prominent jaw. Slowly but surely, he inched his face closer to Louis’ and rubbed his one thumb, that was still holding his hand, back and forth against Louis’ thumb and rubbed the other thumb back and forth his chiselled jaw. He was so close he could feel Louis’ uneven breaths on his lips but he didn’t back away, he never could. Their eyes closed and their lips met. Louis was sure his eyebrows got lost in his hair because, wow. The only person he’d ever kissed was Eleanor and that was nothing compared to this. Adrenaline coursed through Louis’ body just from the gentle pressure of Harry’s lips. Just a gentle peck on the lips was powerful enough to give them both that feeling, and that’s when they knew. They knew that that would be enough for them. They would only ever need each other and they were complete. Two halves of the same whole, or some poetic shit like that (Louis never was good with words, but Harry certainly gave him a run for his money).

***

Later that night, when everything was sorted out and Louis had to endure endless amounts of teasing and embarrassing stories told by his sisters about his pining for Harry over the years, Harry and Louis went up to Louis’ room to talk some more. Even though Harry had never replied to Louis, he hoped his actions spoke louder than words for once.

They were cuddled up on Louis’ bed with the TV on mute (They weren’t really watching it anyway. Too engrossed in holding each other) when Harry shuffled around a bit saying, “Oh, I almost forgot!” and he pulled a tattered piece of paper out of him back pocket and started to unfold it.

“Hmm? What’s that?”

Harry shrugged, “Just a letter someone gave me at my first Meet and Greet...” Louis untangled himself from Harry to face opposite him sitting crossed legged.

“You kept it?” He giggled and made a grab for it but he ended up falling into Harry’s lap. Either way it was a win-win situation for Louis ;) “Oops, sorry.” He replied sheepishly and hoped Harry wouldn’t notice him blushing. (He didn’t thank god! Or if he did, he didn’t mention anything)

“Of course I kept it, you dolt!” Harry opened his arms, “Come back ‘ere though, m’getting cold.” Louis pouted but snuggled up to Harry’s side anyway.

“This reminds me of the day you first spoke to me, only the other way around. What an amazing day that was...”

“Oh really? Please enlighten me on your thoughts.” Harry started carding his fingers through Louis’ hair and Louis welcomed it by nudging up against Harry’s hand.

“Oh god, this is going to sound so embarrassing, but I don’t care because it’s you and y’know, I love you, blah blah blah. So, yeah. The day you spoke your very first words to me Haz, I think I nearly cried, wow I sound pathetic. But I knew you could only talk with ease to people you trusted, like I don’t know if you ever saw a doctor about it but I did some research and it sounded like Selective Mutism or Social Anxiety. I knew you only opened up and spoke to people who you completely trust and, even though you seem to be handling it much better now than you were before, but it was a very special day for me, Harry and I knew from that moment on, you were special to me and I could never let you go. That would’ve meant hurting you and I never _ever_ wanted to hurt you. I still don’t. I gained your trust and then you were torn away from me and it hurt like _crazy_ but, that pain was nothing, it was _nothing_ compared to how much it hurt knowing I’d let you down and I’d hurt you Harry, _me!_ I broke all those promises and I don’t think I’ll ever stop saying sorry for that.”

Harry was holding onto Louis so tight he thought he might burst. But he’d much rather that than be away from Harry any longer.

“Will you read the letter to me, Haz? I don’t think I’ll ever get enough of hearing your voice..”

“Sure, babe. But don’t blame me if we both start crying, I’m feeling a tad emotional.” Louis punched Harry in the arm. Then he lifted Harry’s arm around his own shoulders and wrapped his arms around Harry’s body, encompassing them both in each other’s warmth, never wanting to leave. Harry cleared his throat,

“ _To My Little Haz Bear (Although you’re not so little anymore),_

_Wow, never thought I’d say that again, but here I am. I’ll just prepare you now and say that this will sound very weird and very random and all over the place but that’s me all over really, isn’t it?_

_I suppose you don’t remember really but hopefully by the time you’ve finished reading this letter you’ll remember me._

_Firstly, congratulations for making it this far! I know you didn’t win or anything, but it’s a start! And I’ll always be supporting you. In your life whether you want me or not, forever and always and if the start of this letter wasn’t a big enough clue as to who I am, that should’ve been an even bigger one._

_You know, I don’t blame you for not remembering me I guess I’ve changed a lot physically, just like you. You’re so much taller now and I’ve never really grown that much. But saying that, the last memory I have of you, you were 7 and, wow! Putting it into words is really weird, I’m 18 now and you’ve just turned 16, and I feel like a paedophile._

_I’m sorry Harry, I really am. I’m sorry for everything, for breaking the promises I made you, for never coming to visit you at weekends and for rambling on in this letter (or whatever you’d like to call it) and I’m sorry for putting it in a lame DVD case of The Grinch, but it must mean something to you Haz, it must!_

_It hasn’t been that easy on me either, though. I lost my best friend that day Harry and I’ll let you in on a little secret, that position has never been refilled. It still stands open for the one and only ‘Harry Styles’, soon to become ‘The worlds biggest and best British Male Pop Star Britain’s produced in years!’ That is if you still want it of course._

_I don’t want to drag this letter thingy on any longer because you’re probably already bored, or maybe you’re too busy to read it. Singing and signing autographs and all (Which if you haven’t saved your first autograph just for me, then I’m sorry but I’ll be looking for another best friend – I’m just kidding, obviously you wouldn’t have saved it for me, hell you hardly remember me, must be the fame, all gotten to your head. Which I must say is looking slightly on the larger side nowadays ;) And look! I’m rambling again, surprise surprise)_

_I’ve left my contact details in hope that you’ll get in touch, because I miss you Harry, so, so much. And hey, if you don’t, at least you got a free DVD out of all this yeah?_

_Anyway, thanks for reading this H, I miss you and I’m sorry,_

_All my love, forever and always,_

_Louis Tomlinson (Better known as Lou or Boo Bear to you).”_

And they had absolutely no clue on what was going to happen next for either of them. But all that mattered was they found each other again and they were whole and complete. Nothing could compare to that. And nothing would ever drive them apart again. They were ready to fight together, and definitely _not_ ready to surrender. 

**Author's Note:**

> Unfortunately, I'm terrible at writing endings. Sorry!!
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> If you have any feedback, send it my way at [princess-lou](http://princess-lou.tumblr.com/)
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> Kudos and comments will be greatly appreciated!!!


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